An Feirmeoir dúirt sé leis an Strainseir (tarraingt uisce ó lochan) "Ná hól an t-uisce, tá sé lán de chac bó" "Speak English please", he replied. Use two hands, you'll get more water that way. Please correct all my mistakes.

Great to see another joke from you kenailan! New joke - new thread. That way corrections won't get muddled.

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Dúirt an feirmeoir leis an strainséir nuair a chonaic sé é ag ól uisce ón lochán, "Ná hól an t-uisce, tá sé lán de chac bó."
"Speak English please", he replied. "Use two hands, you'll get more water that way."

That's another learner's attempt. I don't think you would be ag tarraingt uisce (pulling water? unless there is another meaning for tarraingt?) from a pond?
Wait for the wiser to shoot us both down! Good joke, by the way!

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I think "ag tarraingt" is also "drawing" (as in drawing water from a well), so it could work in this context.

Redwolf

But if the stranger is already drinking (ag ól), it is too late for the Irish warning to stop him.

Tarraingt would work as "draw" but then the farmer saying "use both hands " in English implies the stranger was about to drink from one hand (not a bucket) in the first place.

Some alternatives:

ar tí/thí/hob/thoib uisce a ól ón lochán "about to drink from the pond"
ar na pointí uisce a ól ón lochán "just about to drink from the pond"
ag taoscadh uisce ón lochán ina láimh "scooping water from the pond in his hand"

Await further correction ...

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WARNING: Intermediate speaker - await further opinions, corrections and adjustments before acting on my advice.
My "specialty" is Connemara Irish, particularly Cois Fhairrge dialect.
Is fearr Gaeilge ḃriste ná Béarla cliste, cinnte, aċ i ḃfad níos fearr aríst í Gaeilge ḃinn ḃeo na nGaeltaċtaí.
Gaeilge Chonnacht (GC), go háraid Gaeilge Chois Fhairrge (GCF), agus Gaeilge an Chaighdeáin Oifigiúil (CO).

I should know that as you also 'draw' a picture. Bíonn daoine ag tarraingt pictiúir.

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I agree. Even if he is using only one hand, he is still drawing water.

"Drawing" in English comes from pulling on the rope of a bucket or the handle of a pump, so I don't think it really works in English when using one hand to scoop water, but I can see that tarraingt would work in Irish as it means both "draw" and "pull".

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WARNING: Intermediate speaker - await further opinions, corrections and adjustments before acting on my advice.
My "specialty" is Connemara Irish, particularly Cois Fhairrge dialect.
Is fearr Gaeilge ḃriste ná Béarla cliste, cinnte, aċ i ḃfad níos fearr aríst í Gaeilge ḃinn ḃeo na nGaeltaċtaí.
Gaeilge Chonnacht (GC), go háraid Gaeilge Chois Fhairrge (GCF), agus Gaeilge an Chaighdeáin Oifigiúil (CO).

I think I took attention from kenailan's joke by asking the 'tarraingt' question. I didn't mean to hijack the thread. Any other comments/corrections on the overall joke?

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I cannot see any major grammar mistakes in this joke.
After I stopped laughing I did notice one or two little things...
'An Feirmeoir dúirt sé leis an Stráinséar...
I think goes better as:
Dúirt an feirmeoir leis an stráinséar...
It might also be better with 'ag tarraingt' = (ag tarraingt uisce ó lochán).
Other than that it's a howl

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Bí cinnte de go nglacfaidh triúr le gach aistriúchán a thabharfar.
Be sure to get three in agreement with a translation given.